When Dogs Talk

Pet psychic Terri Chenault says Lex and Mollie are thinking about food, water, cats and squirrels.

Chenault, based in Hanover, is more than your average pet counselor. She says she’s also a human psychic who specializes in “releasement,” or the practice of freeing lost spirits. In the real working world, she’s asked to communicate with pets having behavioral issues or humans trying to break out of abusive relationships. Occasionally, she has to deal with the afterlife — like the woman in Dinwiddie whose dog constantly barks at a deceased soldier who roamed the yard — and a cat who imagines she is a tiger.

Chenault typically charges $75 an hour for pets. She set up shop for a few hours Nov. 8 at the new dog boutique “for the love of pete” on Libbie Avenue.

We caught up with Chenault last week for an interview with Lex , an overweight Weimaraner, and Mollie, a smaller female Weimaraner. Here’s what they had to say, as interpreted by Chenault:

Chenault: Mollie, how do you feel?

Mollie: I’m drinking an incredible amount of water and I don’t like that. There is a little bit of discomfort. [Mollie has kidney disease, according to her owner.]

(To Lex): Do you think you have a weight problem?

Lex: Yeah, I have a little trouble moving around.

Why won’t you stop eating and stealing loaves of bread?

Lex: I didn’t get enough to eat. My previous owners kept me hungry so I’d go after animals [Lex was formerly a hunting dog]. I really didn’t get enough to eat.

Are you really happy to see your owners when they get home (from work)?

Lex and Mollie: We love our owners very much. We love them unconditionally.

What is your favorite thing about going outdoors?

Lex (getting excited): Squirrels! Give me a squirrel!

Isn’t it disgusting when you stick your nose in other dog butts?

Lex: That’s how we communicate. … Our noses have the capacity to pick up many different nuances that you humans don’t have the ability to do.

Mollie (interjecting): Skippy. Skippy. Talk to him about Skippy.

Chenault (confused): I don’t know what that means. [Apparently, it has something to do with the owner’s husband.

What’s your favorite snack?

Lex: Peanut butter.

Mollie: Cheese.

Do you like to chase things — like the mailman, people, cars?

Lex and Mollie: We’re more focused on chipmunks, squirrels, our neighbors.

Mollie: One of the neighbors yelled at me. He’s a real pain in the butt. I don’t like him.

Would you like to bite this person?

Mollie: If I was a biter. But I’m not a violent dog.

What about you, Lex? Would you bite someone?

Lex: No way.

Why do you dislike cats so much?

Lex: They are stupid. They are stupid animals.

What do cats do that annoys you so much?

Lex: They are just stupid. They don’t do anything. They just walk around and hiss. I don’t respect them.

Have you ever done anything to anger your owners intentionally?

Mollie: I did pee on the bed one time. They didn’t let me do what I wanted to do, which was go outside.

Did you regret doing it?

Mollie: I don’t feel bad about it, no. At the time I did it for spite, and it’s over now.

What about you, Lex?

Lex: I would never do something like that. S

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