10) Yes, that’s what passes for a traffic jam here.

9) He’s no Guliani. Then again, we don’t elect our mayor.

8) Corned beef? Pastrami??

7) Reservation for dinner? That’s a good one!

6) Nordstrom and Saks are coming. Just be patient.

5) And you thought people were thoughtless and rude in New York?

4) You’ll find bagels in the exotic foods aisle.

3) Your old office was near the financial center of the world; your new office is next door to a Home Depot.

2) Lots of nice houses formerly owned by Capital One executives are available.

1) That eye-stinging cloud in every restaurant is the sweet smell of job security!

— N. Whitehead