Clinton, Trump and Sanders walk into a bar. …

1. Lemaire. With its marble columns and high ceilings, any presidential candidate would feel right at home in this stately place. And with its spotless environment and impressive health inspection record it would be perfect for Hillary because, as you know, she loves clean servers.

2. F.W. Sullivan’s. Sully puts his name and face on everything, wears a nice suit and makes an imposing New York strip, which would make this hangout a yuuuuhge hit with the Donald.

3. Ipanema. Nestled near the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University, this vegetarian establishment offers a subterranean dining experience with a progressive vibe. Endless veggies in the heart of academia would be hard to pass up for old man Bernie.