Favorite

Worn Down 

Here we go again, with the schools and all their nonsense. Last week Henrico County School Board updated its rules to prohibit a bunch of clothing options, such as low-hanging pants and short skirts. Are you ready for fall? Here's a short quiz to calibrate your knowledge of the unacceptable. Pick one of the following pairs:

a) Black hoodie printed with "ASS"
b) Crisp white shirt, starched
Answer: The hoodie is appropriate, because it refers to the nonprofit group Animals Supporting School, while the white shirt is a well-known symbol of class-based persecution.

a) Do-rag
b) Don't-rag
Answer: The don't-rag is allowable, as it's only worn by kids who promise they won't do wrong. Really.

a) Pleated khaki pants
b) Black mesh T-shirt with holes cut for nipples (men's size)
Answer: The black mesh tee is appropriate, as it conforms to school standards of proper ventilation, preventing overheating. The pants are forbidden, as students are known to hide drugs in the pleats.

a) Baseball cap with Jesus fish
b) Traditional Muslim head wrap
Answer: Come on. Like we'd even let terrorists into our schools.
Favorite

Latest in News and Features

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Connect with Style Weekly

Most Popular Stories

  • Moving Pictures

    Moving Pictures

    Lucy Dacus revisits her Richmond upbringing on new album, “Home Video.”
    • Jun 22, 2021
  • COMMENTARY: Pedestals with Purpose

    COMMENTARY: Pedestals with Purpose

    Richmond should carefully examine what to do with the remaining pedestals from the Confederate monuments – considering each individually.
    • Jun 22, 2021
  • Power to the People

    Power to the People

    A new documentary about the rise and fall of the Confederate monuments offers a sweeping history of resistance.
    • Jun 8, 2021
  • COMMENTARY: Welcome to the Caymans

    COMMENTARY: Welcome to the Caymans

    The success of Urban One Casino proves that Richmond remains in dire need of campaign finance reform.
    • Jun 1, 2021
  • More »

Copyright © 2021 Style Weekly
Richmond's alternative for news, arts, culture and opinion
All rights reserved
Powered by Foundation