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Posh Pool’s Poo Blues 

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It installed a security camera.

It instituted a $250 fine.

And yet someone — or someones — keeps defecating in the Westwood Club pool.

“This reoccurring problem is very vexing for us,” club president John Warren wrote in an email sent to members last week. It seems that no other clubs in Richmond, he wrote, “have anything close to the number of incidents we have.”

A full family membership at Westwood, a private swim and racquet club in the near West End, costs $229 per month — plus a $2,500 initiation fee, a monthly $39 fee for capital improvements and a quarterly dining minimum of $105.

The email quotes one disappointed member who wrote: “We just got a call that the ‘poop’ pool has been closed again and we had to tell the family not to come. How embarrassing when our kids told theirs that this ‘happens all the time at Westwood.’”

When the pool is closed, according to the email, the club offers its members half-price drinks.

Warren says the club has consulted other local pools for ideas, but there’s nothing else Westwood can do short of airport-style pat downs or swim-trunk inspections. In his email, he beseeches members to curb their children. “I would offer that none of us would consider abdicating responsibility for our children’s bodily functions while in our home or others’ homes; why do some seem to believe that the gates of Westwood offer special dispensation to being a responsible member of society?”

At the end of his 1,000-word email, Warren includes a sincere plea: “I fervently ask, as I have previously, for any ideas or suggestions as to how we can curtail the regularity of these incidents.” No pun intended.

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