No, You Do Not Want to See Their Nutcracker 

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Is a band called Dick Butt Kiss and the Tightends going to get us any closer to finding the true meaning of Christmas? Only if you're the sort of person who would steal the baby Jesus from somebody's nativity scene. Or replace a wise man with a garden gnome. Or Joseph with a plastic flamingo. Oh, you'll have plenty of opportunities to see a handbell concert or go caroling, but only three chances to hear a song called "Gee Whiz Jesus!" sung in four-part harmony. Yes, it's "The Christmas Story According to Uncle Daddy," a bit of musical theater setting the Christmas story in West Virginia. And with manic jugband Special Ed and the Shortbus along for the ride, it shall be narrated through bluegrass. Sort of The Greatest Story Ever Told With a Kazoo. The Firehouse Theatre Project taunts the brimstone Dec. 15-16 at 8 p.m. with a 2 p.m. matinee Saturday. Tickets are $14-$15. Call 355-2001 or visit www.dbkte.com. S

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