Curriculum Quirks

Turkeys, psychics and molding roses.

NATU 003: Spring Turkey Hunting Seminar.

This one-time evening class “will cover all you wanted to know about turkey hunting!” the course booklet boasts. “Past turkey calling champion teaches class,” it says. Students are required to bring a box or slate; both devices which, with a little practice, produce sounds to lure turkeys. Also required is a diaphragm mouth-caller, which, when placed in the mouth, makes the whole range of turkey calls, from cackles to yelps to cutting (fast and excited clucking).

EDCA 019: Developing Your Intuitive Abilities.

In this class, students will get “a chance to come into better understanding of the sixth-sense phenomena” by practicing relaxation techniques and energy-sensing. “Learn the meaning of colors,” the description promises. There’s no guarantee your $60 fee will be refunded, however, if you just can’t get a handle on blue.

EDCA 248: Family Home Safety: Are You Prepared?

“The more you know, the less surprised you will be in potentially harmful situations,” declares the description for this six-session course. The college’s security manager teaches this class on how to deal with emergencies and assess personal safety. “Learn how to teach and prepare your children for fires, floods, hurricanes, etc. … In the time it takes to watch one movie a night, you can learn how to make your home and family safe.” Presumably, in the time it takes to watch “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,” you can build a nicely decorated bomb shelter.

HOEC 015: Rolled Fondant. “In just two easy hands-on lessons, we’ll teach you the elegant art of covering a cake with a rolled fondant.” Also: “how to hand-mold roses, how to compliment [sic] your cake with ribbons, and how to finish with a beautiful eyelet or rope border.” A few words of caution: If simultaneously enrolled in FNS 212, Restorative Art II, which “Teaches feature construction [for funeral services] with restorative wax through demonstrations and laboratory practice,” do not confuse your notes. S

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