Best Alternative Uses of Sex Toys 

Critics' Pick

click to enlarge Taboo owner Alison Barber - SCOTT ELMQUIST

Here’s a question to all men out there who drive alone: Are you frequently accosted by prostitutes while driving in city neighborhoods?

Try buckling a blowup doll into the passenger’s seat. One customer professes the strategy keeps street-corner hookers at bay. Or at least that’s what he told the clerks at Taboo when he came in about once a month to buy a new friend. (Bonus: The doll allowed him to use interstate car-pool lanes.)

“It was just easier to not have to deal with the prostitutes if they thought there was a woman in the car with him,” says Alison Barber, owner of Taboo. Then again, “I think he just wanted a blowup doll.”

Barber says there are many nonsexual uses for sex toys. An 18-inch dildo is a great weapon. A self-pleasuring device for males can double as a pencil holder. Edible undies can liven up a lunch routine. Lube can get you out of all sorts of household jams.

And if that’s a little too creative, Barber says, “I guess you could use vibrators marketed as neck massagers to actually massage your neck.”

(Sorry, no information is currently available for other years in this same award category.)

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