Again, Virginia? 

State lawmakers go for round two on the late-night joke circuit.

The state GOP is again the butt of late-night TV jokes despite a concerted effort by Republican leadership to focus on transportation and avoid the national embarrassment that surrounded last year’s trans-vaginal debate.

Comedy Central’s faux-conservative pundit Stephen Colbert named the Senate Republicans on Wednesday his “alpha dogs of the week” for the redistricting sneak attack they sprung on Democrats this week and for generally “swinging their sacks in the face of black voters.”

Watch the video above, or if you’re at work, we’ve got the transcript below for you.


This week’s alpha dogs are the pack of purebred Republicans in the Virginia state Senate.

This past Monday these boys redrew the district lines for the Virginia state Senate to make eight electoral districts, six of them presently held by Democrats, more heavily Republican and to concentrate minority voters in a new South Side district. And they did it by pushing the redrawn maps past “flabbergasted Democrats.”

Now frankly, I don’t see why these Democrats’ gasts are so flabbered. The state Senate is split 20 Republicans and 20 Democrats. Why didn’t the Democrats just stop them?

I’ll tell you why. Because these Republicans are alpha dogs. … Yes. They waited until Democrat senator and longtime civil rights leader Henry Marsh left town on Martin Luther King Day to attend President Obama’s inauguration.

How fitting. In the words of Dr. King, “I have been to the mountain top, and while I was there, they heavily redistricted the promised land.”

But I think the way these good old alpha dogs really swung their sacks in the faces of black voters was that after this vote, on Martin Luther King Day, they adjourned in memory of Confederate Gen. Stonewall Jackson. After all, what better alpha way to honor Dr. King, because if it weren’t for the Confederacy, he wouldn’t have had that much to do.

Now the bill still has to be signed by Republican Gov. Bob McDonnell, who has said, “obviously the tactics used yesterday were a surprise and I don’t think that’s the way business should be done.”

But he didn’t promise to veto it, saying instead, “If I get a bill, I’ll deal with it at that time.”

Yeah, it’s kind of a game-time decision. After all, if somebody offered me a panda burger, I would definitely say the idea is repellent and offensive. But, if you’re just going to throw it out.… [shrugs].

So, Virginia state Senate, for putting Republican leadership on the map and then heavily redrawing that map in your favor, you gentlemen are my alpha dogs of the week.


Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

  • Re: RVA Coffee Stain

    • Hate to be the turd in the punchbowl, but I don't get it.

    • on June 27, 2017
  • Re: New City Council, Mayor and School Board Gather for First Joint Meeting

    • I think this testimony of mine is worth sharing. My name is Samuel Jason and…

    • on June 27, 2017
  • Re: New City Council, Mayor and School Board Gather for First Joint Meeting

    • www.PutSchoolsFirst.org

    • on June 27, 2017
  • More »
  • Latest in Street Talk

    More by Ned Oliver

    • Auto Spying

      Auto Spying

      Virginia lawmakers are fighting against the use of license-plate scanners by police. But what about the people privately watching your whereabouts?
      • Apr 28, 2015
    • City Explores Tax on Richmond Airbnb Rentals

      City Explores Tax on Richmond Airbnb Rentals

      • Apr 21, 2015
    • Flash Forward

      Flash Forward

      Richmond is getting a $54 million, high-speed bus line right down Broad Street. But do we need it? Here are the answers to seven questions you might be asking.
      • Apr 21, 2015
    • More »

    Copyright © 2017 Style Weekly
    Richmond's alternative for news, arts, culture and opinion
    All rights reserved
    Powered by Foundation