The notorious Westboro Baptist Church is planning to protest Danica Roem, the first trans person to serve in Virginia’s legislature, on Monday, March 11 at 9 a.m. at the Virginia State Capitol. But it won’t happen without some resistance in the form of a kazoo party.
Metal star and singer for Lamb of God, Randy Blythe, has announced that he will be staging a “counter-party” of the group in defense of his friend and fellow metal fan and musician, Roem.
The Southern Poverty Law Center has called the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) “arguably the most obnoxious and rabid hate group in America.”
Blythe has posted a call to action asking Richmonders to join him and play kazoos to drown out the group (see below). He’s also offering a $100 cash prize to the counter-protester with the best costume.
Speaking as a former childhood campmate of Blythe’s at the University of Virginia, I once watched him give a solo kazoo performance of a popular ’80s song that held hundreds of people entranced in a large auditorium.
In other words, the man can rock a kazoo. No question in my mind.
ATTENTION! PEOPLE OF RICHMOND! CALLING ALL FREAKS, WEIRDOS, MISFITS, & REGULAR PEOPLE OF GOOD CONSCIOUS!
This coming Monday, March 11, 2019, the buffoons of the #WESTBOROBAPTISTCHURCH (AKA the “God Hates Fags” losers) are coming to our fair city of Richmond, VA. They will be at our state Capitol at 9 am, then over by VCU at 9:45, spreading their bizarre brand of hate mongering.
Why? They are protesting my friend, a fairly elected member of the Virginia House of Delegates, Danica Roem- Danica is an award-winning journalist, a heavy metal musician & all-around #RIPPER (who happens to be a trans-woman.) These “Christians” are always picketing military funerals, Kansas City Chiefs football games, the funerals of people killed by natural disasters– their insane activities are too many to list.
They even picketed at the funerals of #FredRogers & tried to find the funereal of #LeonardNimoy (but they failed- ha!) – WHO PROTESTS THE FUNERALS OF THOSE TWO GREATEST OF AMERICAN MISTERS, MISTER ROGERS & MISTER SPOCK?!?!? THEY EVEN PICKETED DIO’S FUNEREAL- oh, HELL NO.
And these people are coming to MY TOWN?!?? They have left me no choice – in the name of all that is GOOD & JUST in this world, in the name of PUNK ROCK & HEAVY METAL, in the name of #MISTERROGERS & #MISTERSPOCK, IN THE NAME OF MY BELOVED FRIEND #DAVEBROCKIE (R.I.P.)… I COMMAND YOU TO JOIN ME FOR A COUNTER-PARTY!!!
NOT a counter-PROTEST, because that would entail arguing with these idiots (which is USELESS), but a COUNTER-PARTY. I WILL BE BRINGING 100 KAZOOS- WE WILL HAVE A #KAZOO #CHAMPAGNEJAM. WE WILL PLAY THE “BENNY HILL” & “SANFORD & SONS” THEME SONGS. WE WILL DROWN THEM OUT WITH CHEAP BUZZING PLASTIC NOISE MAKERS. I will also be bringing a BRAND NEW 100 DOLLAR BILL as a CASH PRIZE for BEST COSTUME worn to the #COUNTERPARTY. A hundred kazoos AND a hundred dollar prize?!?? IT’S ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. So Monday, MARCH 11, 2019, 9 AM, VIRGINIA STATE CAPITOL- PUT ON YOUR CORPSEPAINT, YOUR RAINBOW WIG, YOUR INFLATABLE SUMO WRESTLER COSTUME. FLY YOUR FREAK FLAG HIGH! LET’S PARTY!!!!!
Update: Westboro Baptist Church has issued a response of sorts on its Twitter site: “Your caps lock is sticky, Randy Blythe, but we’ll gladly use the kazooing #counterparty as backdrop to sing “Oh Lamb of God” parody & preach the gospel of Jesus Christ against greed-fueled perversion.” We’re not providing a link, sorry.
Blythe sent this email message to Style:
Why bother throwing a kazoo counterparty when the loonies of the Westboro Baptist Church show up? Well, first and foremost, Danica is my friend– I don’t like people who mess with my friends. Second, their “message” sucks- they do have the right to preach it, but we also have the right to drown it out with kazoos. Third, it’s too good of an opportunity to pass up- who doesn’t want to hear a few hundred people playing the “Sanford & Son” theme on kazoos? Only a truly godless and un-American puppy-kicking troglodyte, that’s who.
Why let a perfectly good chance for some harmless and hilarious mischief pass by? Some people say “Just ignore them, you’re only giving them more publicity to raise money with.” I disagree. From the Southern Poverty Law Center website: “Fred Phelps and his small congregation provide WBC’s funding; the group neither solicits nor accepts outside donations.” Phelps is dead and gone, but many members of this “church” are lawyers, and they fund their activities from lawsuits– someone loses their cool and punches one of them, and then they sue the pants off of the aggressor. Or a city won’t let them protest, and then they sue the city– this has substantially increased their coffers several times.
So let them come with their signs and nonsense- as long as everyone remains cool, ignores these mental cripples, and plays ripping kazoo tunes, then all the Westboro Baptist will have accomplished is burning some of the funds in their travel bank account. I’m not interested in arguing with these morons, getting upset, yelling at them– I’m interested in having a good time at their expense. That’s why this is a counter-party, NOT a counter-protest. See y’all there.
