There’s a beautiful girl at the bar and, wait, did she just look over here? What should I do? Send her a drink? Drop some awesome dance moves and hope that she notices? Go talk to her? What do I say? Should I tell her I’m a nationally ranked professional bull rider?!

Every single man faces these dilemmas at some point in his life. So how do you catch and hold the attention of a woman in a bar? If we had that answer then we wouldn’t still have to carry around issues of Style Weekly to try to impress the ladies with our byline: It never works. So we ask Pearl bartender and sometime lothario Dane Acton for the secret.

“There is no secret,” he says. “Go talk to her. Just be yourself and don’t overthink it.”

Sounds easy enough.

“But listen, at the end of the day, I can’t just tell you how to impress women. That’s like asking Michelangelo to show you how to paint like him, or asking Joe Montana to show you how to become a champion. Some things just can’t be taught.”

Oh. Damn.