Flawless performances propel this tale about Manuela (Cecilia Roth), a Madrid woman whose son’s accidental death sends her searching for his long-lost father. Of course, as only happens in Almod¢var movies, that father is now a transsexual prostitute (Toni Canto) living in Barcelona. During the course of her journey, Manuela encounters and takes under her wing another transsexual (the scene-stealing Antonia San Juan), a troubled nun (Penelope Cruz), and an aging stage diva (Marisa Paredes) as well as her junkie girlfriend (Candela Pena). Almod¢var’s message is clear — that being a woman, let alone a mother, has more to do with heart and soul than womb.

This edgy but parboiled travelogue for the Game Boy generation steals the best from myriad better movies but with lackluster results. Think “Heart of Darkness” and “Lord of the Flies” rehashed for a Sony PlayStation.

Leo plays Richard, a fellow looking to escape the computer-driven, fast-track in his future. So he heads to Thailand, where he meets a wacko named Daffy (Robert Carlyle) who slips him a map to a mystical beach, then kills himself. Leo asks a French couple if they’d like to travel with him. When they finally get to the island, they find that paradise is no day at the beach.

Overwrought and predictable, “The Beach” may be from the creative team who crafted “Trainspotting,” but it plays like the fevered dream of a 12-year-old.

On the adult team are Chevy Chase (as a reluctant Willard Scott-type weatherman), Chris Elliott (as the evil, yellow-toothed Snowplow Man) and Jean Smart as a career mom who lets her cell phone rule her life. The kids are newcomers — except for Schuyler Fisk, who’s real-life mom is Sissy Spacek — and spunky.

Nothing original goes on and it ends just as you’d expect. Much like the real thing, parents will find this PG-rated “Snow Day” a trying ordeal, but the kids will love it.