Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Score

Special Edition: RVA Fireworks Guide

Posted on Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 2:31 PM


-6 The Fizzler: Like the city mayoral election, this comet never quite takes off. A sidewalk spinner that provides low-key fun close to the ground. Safe, unremarkable: Perfect for families with school-age children who have fled for the suburbs.

-4 Short Pump Discharge: With simulated, tornadolike action, this rocket is strong enough to knock the most comfortable suburbanite off his game. Blasts away hot water and good spirits. Creates a whining sound. Available only at national chains.

+3 Flying Fish Spectacular: For use only over the Huguenot Bridge. Leaves no sentiment or regret behind as it starts out wobbly and finishes strong, sending a smooth crossing over the river and into the night. Sparkles. Caution: May leave potholes.

+6 Flaming Boomerang: Created in honor of University of Virginia President Teresa Sullivan, this rocket takes off, crashes, then sets flight again. Streaks through the sky with orange and blue trails. Effective at shaking up silent vigils.

-5 The Gates of Helen: Inspired by University of Virginia Rector Helen Dragas, this ticking time bomb is silent but deadly. Simmers quietly before setting off a series of unnecessary explosions. Now available with scented feature as the Stink Spectacular.



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