Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.Special NCAA Psychic Edition

Posted on Tue, Mar 22, 2011 at 5:52 PM



Upon their return from an incredible NCAA championship showing, the basketball teams from the University of Richmond and Virginia Commonwealth University will be welcomed home with ticker-tape parades, throngs of adoring female fans and stacks of Chinese food menus littering their front porches.


Next year MTV will announce the retooling of a popular documentary series following spoiled teenagers getting their obnoxious birthday parties crashed by drunk college students at UR and VCU. It's called "My Super Sweet 16: This Is How It's Done."


By the year 2015, the embryos of wealthy couples will be genetically engineered to be not just smart, but Shaka Smart.


After decades of debate, in 2057 Richmond drops its title as Capital of the Confederacy in favor of the Capital of College Hoops, forcing Confederate re-enactors to find new work portraying historical figures Joey Rodriguez, Chris Mooney, Dan Geriot and Jamie Skeen.


Exactly 150 years after VCU and UR battle each other in the Elite 8, the city will commemorate the year 2161 as the sesquicentennial of Richmond's second Civil War.



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