Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.Special NCAA Psychic Edition

Posted on Tue, Mar 22, 2011 at 5:52 PM

score_feature1-1.jpg

+7

Upon their return from an incredible NCAA championship showing, the basketball teams from the University of Richmond and Virginia Commonwealth University will be welcomed home with ticker-tape parades, throngs of adoring female fans and stacks of Chinese food menus littering their front porches.

+2

Next year MTV will announce the retooling of a popular documentary series following spoiled teenagers getting their obnoxious birthday parties crashed by drunk college students at UR and VCU. It's called "My Super Sweet 16: This Is How It's Done."

+4

By the year 2015, the embryos of wealthy couples will be genetically engineered to be not just smart, but Shaka Smart.

+7

After decades of debate, in 2057 Richmond drops its title as Capital of the Confederacy in favor of the Capital of College Hoops, forcing Confederate re-enactors to find new work portraying historical figures Joey Rodriguez, Chris Mooney, Dan Geriot and Jamie Skeen.

+1

Exactly 150 years after VCU and UR battle each other in the Elite 8, the city will commemorate the year 2161 as the sesquicentennial of Richmond's second Civil War.

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