Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Score

Posted on Tue, Jan 22, 2008 at 4:00 AM

-3The General Assembly absurdity begins: Democrat Lionel Spruill wages a minor war on Truck Nutz, pushing to declare the undercarriage-mounted novelty testicles -- available in chrome or plastic — a misdemeanor. This is his second attempt at an auto bill since a spell-check error spurred him to legislate all the "Vulvas" off the road.

-7The Braves are going back to the homeland to be an Atlanta-area ball club, leaving Richmond minus one sports team. After Delegate Spruill, will there be any balls left in Richmond?

+1Citing low sales, Cloverleaf Mall is kicking everybody out at last, declaring that the 35-year-old mall will shut its doors for good Feb. 29. Sullen area teenagers announce a conference to determine new loitering opportunities and the fate of "mall bangs."

+2Massey Energy must pay a record $20 million in a lawsuit settlement with the Environmental Protection Agency for polluting hundreds of streams and rivers in Kentucky and West Virginia. Massey contends it is just fortifying the states with minerals. You know, to keep them healthy.

+4VCU throws open the doors on three new educational spaces (for business, engineering and advertising), mucking up a traffic pattern near you. It's 11 more acres VCU adds to its campaign: "What, this old thing? Why no, this building has always been here!"

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