Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.

Posted on Wed, May 26, 2010 at 4:00 AM

-5 With its grass-cutting budget slashed, the Virginia Department of Transportation puts out a call for help from civic-minded folks who can provide volunteer mowing. For drivers caught in Interstate 95 gridlock it's called the “Park and Mow” project.

+2 Boy Scouts help the GRTC Transit System retire the flag at its old headquarters and raise one at the company's new headquarters on East Belt Boulevard. Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli promptly files suit, saying the bus company, with its carpool-encouraging, energy-efficient leftist agenda is an affront to Global Warming Anti-Believers who are the Real Good Americans truly deserving of the Stars and Stripes. 

+1 Virginia holds a Hurricane Preparedness Sales Tax Holiday on May 25-31, during which you can buy glow sticks, duct tape and bungee cords tax-free. Finally, a political issue all those RVAlution kids can get behind. 

+4 Nutzy the Flying Squirrel takes the conductor's baton as part of the Richmond Symphony's Celebrity Maestro benefit concert. Everything went great until the after-party, where he mated with the bassoon, creating a demon breed of spindly legged, four-eyed creatures with bushy double-reeds and gap-toothed embouchures, whose horrific squeals of “kill me, please” in the key of C send Richmond animal-control officers scrambling to euthanize the cruel violations of Mother Nature. 

+6 Virginia Commonwealth University holds its graduation ceremonies. Finally the 32-year-old guy in the cubicle next to you has a diploma to put on his wall.


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