You know it’s not polite to make fun of Richmond unless you live here.
Around these parts, 30 years hardly qualifies as old. But after its debut in 1985, the reader contest known as “You Are Very Richmond If …” became a comfortable classic.
It turned Richmond into an adjective and offered readers an outlet to offer polite, pointed, sarcastic, self-conscious, adoring and sometimes cutting commentary about the city they called home.
Despite the contest’s retirement long ago — and a special comeback to mark its 25th anniversary in 2010 — we’re still asked about the issue, and you continue to hear people describe things as being “very Richmond.”
There’s something bless-your-heart special about something “very Richmond,” but we wondered how things might be spinning in 2015. So we asked. Hundreds of reader entries poured in. And here are the very Richmond results.
FIRST PRIZE: You’re very opinionated about where the new baseball stadium should or shouldn’t be, but still haven’t made it to a game. — Bill Smith
You never forget where you buried the hatchet.— James Seay
You wish Civil War Richmonders hadn’t burned their own city down, but you see where they were coming from. — Matt Newman
If you think Eric Cantor lost his congressional seat because he was too liberal.— Chris Bopst
You believe everything you read in top 10 lists, as long as they mention Richmond. — Brent Baldwin
You reassure people that you weren’t a member of the Country Club of Virginia when it refused to let Arthur Ashe play there.— Brandon Fox
You think displaying the stars and bars is crazy, but you have no problem with an entire avenue dedicated to Confederate soldiers. — Abe Calhoun
You always try to be kind when you pre-judge someone. — James Seay
You know that you haven’t arrived in Richmond until you’ve arrived in Hollywood. — Jack Blanton
You like to play corn hole, but you’re embarrassed to say corn hole.— Janet Chenoweth
You love progress so long as nothing ever changes. — Evan Maxwell
HONORABLE MENTION: You love tubing down the James so much you’ve even done it once. — Dustin Correale
You know that the “Lee Art” was to art what the “Lee Bridge” was to bridges. — James Seay
When someone mentions all the new murals, you immediately cross yourself and think of Princess Di. She left us too soon. — Jack Lauterback
You enter “RVA” as the airport code when booking a flight and wonder why the site is broken. — Aaron Roth
You call a small patch of pebbles a “beach.” — Joseph Weindl
You’re still not sure it’s a good idea for your child to move North/South of the river. — Christopher Link
You discuss “where is the new Diamond” going to be located. — Phyllis Andrews
You proudly tell everyone you meet that “Richmond is the third most tattooed city in the U.S.” — Maggi Beckstoffer
You think it’s only a matter of time before VCU completely owns the Fan and declares it to be a sovereign state.— Victor Gottlieb
HONORABLE MENTION: You have a mural tattooed on your bicycle. — Mike Dillon