Please, Help 

In the wake of Glenn Proctor's retirement, we uncover the help-wanted ad for a new editor at the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

Opportunity of a Lifetime, Dawg! — Are you a chill, fresh journalism major who knows how to lay down some words like nobody's business? When you hear the term Black Eyed Peas, do you first think about that edgy band on your iPod instead of a Southern dish served with stewed tomatoes? Are you totally into Richmond.com? Wazzzup!

Despite what you've heard, daily newspapers aren't dead. They just need a comeback. From somebody like you! Oh, you were thinking about grad school? A boring job as a reporter in a no-name town? Whatever! A glamorous job in TV? That's so bogus. It's time you thought about being the top dawg, editor-in-chief of a daily newspaper, yo!

Our digs are totally not wack. You'll be leading a very quiet newsroom with plenty of space to spread out your Twitter equipment. Sure, we have lots of middle-management, but they're usually too busy with meetings to bother you. And don't be trippin' about experience, yo! The several journalists left around here don't need much prodding. Look at them as cool grandfather types, like on "Everybody Loves Raymond." Or that Mr. Belding guy from "Saved by the Bell"!

Four words: We're the bomb, diggity! So if you're ready to rip up the old model of journalism, tear it into little pieces, burn those pieces, bury them in a hole, then film a video of the fire and upload it to MySpace then we're the place for you! Booyah! (Salary negotiable. Media General is an Equal Opportunity Employer.)

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