While perusing the latest fine issue of your publication I came across the latest installment of Mr. Jack Lauterback's Punch Drunk. While I have great respect and admiration for Mr. Lauterback most of the time, I must call out his lack of research in writing his current column. In discussing the names of the members of the musical spectacular that I am foolish enough to be a part of, he made the simple error of misspelling my last name. Your esteemed and hard-working fact checkers missed the error as well. I hold no grudges, as I'm sure it was an honest mistake and meant in no way to offend me or the rest of the Marnier clan in this fine land. My computer spell-check is trying to correct my last name as I type this, so I humbly understand.
Please continue to do the great work that your staff tirelessly does every week. I will accept your apologies in advance, and will deal with Mr. Lauterback the next time I encounter him in person. I'm certain he will make good by providing me with the fine alcoholic beverage of my choice, at his expense of course. This will allow me full closure, and I will be able to carry on enjoying your incredibly entertaining and informative publication every week with a fine cigar in hand.
Daniel M. F. Marnier
Three Sheets to the Wind