A NASCAR Fan’s Guide to Richmond's Big Bike Race 

Maybe you already know what you need to know. (Or not.) Some similarities and differences from start to finish.

click to enlarge With Richmond International Raceway in our backyard, maybe figuring out the sport of cycling won’t be so tough.

Ash Daniel

With Richmond International Raceway in our backyard, maybe figuring out the sport of cycling won’t be so tough.

Despite being made popular by NASCAR driver Darrell Waltrip, shouting “Boogity, boogity, boogity!” at the start of a race is frowned upon by cyclists.

Scientific fact: The hearts of most cyclists are 20 percent to 40 percent larger than those of average humans. Much like the mustache of Richard Petty.

These cyclists are in prime shape and look good competing in spandex, which is probably another reason why Tony Stewart drives a car.

Unlike stock car racing, you can take up cycling relatively easily. Well, probably not you. Someone else though. Just need a bike. I see you as more of bowling on a Tuesday night kind of guy.

Ear protection is unnecessary unless you find the sound of foreign accents annoying.

Cycling fans have similar pre-race tailgate rituals. Only theirs are more about mimosas at Lemaire brunch and less about beer from the back of a Ford.

In NASCAR, sponsors have found the most prominent spot for logo placement is the hood of the car. In cycling, it’s the rider’s ass. Again, spandex.

In cycling, racers turn both left and right.

A pit road in cycling is not a good thing.

Cycling fans and NASCAR fans aren’t so different. Take solace in the fact that normal people who enjoy sports involving balls think you’re all weird.

Much as there are no NASCAR lanes on Broad Street, there are no bicycle lanes at Richmond International Raceway. Seems fair. No word on whether the new Floyd Avenue bike boulevard will be able to accommodate stock cars.

Teamwork, like in NASCAR, is everything. One man can’t win a race alone. And regardless of what you accomplished at the 2012 Greensboro race, one man cannot finish a handle of Fireball alone. Share some with your new Euro friends.

In cycling, rubbing isn’t racing. It’s just weird. Stop touching me.

Cyclists are incapable of making spectacular burnouts at the finish line. Then again, NASCAR drivers can’t pop wheelies.

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

  • Re: Union Seminary's Proposed Apartment Complex Should Take Notes From Another Richmond School

    • I wish to express my opposition to this proposed project on the grounds that since…

    • on March 22, 2017
  • Re: African Flowers

    • KGJ

    • on March 22, 2017
  • Re: Washington's The Make-Up Reuniting, Playing Show At Strange Matter

    • Same night as PJ Harvey. UGHHHHHHHH!!!!

    • on March 22, 2017
  • More »
  • Latest in Arts and Culture

    More by Jack Lauterback

    Copyright © 2017 Style Weekly
    Richmond's alternative for news, arts, culture and opinion
    All rights reserved
    Powered by Foundation