+6 An estimated 31,000 people turn out for the annual Hanover Tomato Festival at Pole Green Park, featuring music, costumes and naturally, tomatoes. And after a day in that heat, let's just say a few of those festival goers were smelling pretty ripe.
+3 Production begins in Richmond's backyard on the National Geographic documentary "Killing Lincoln," based on a bestselling book by Bill O'Reilly. Nobody tell him that today's Lincoln would be a Democrat.
+4 Officials announce a $10 million deal to turn the Landmark Theater — formerly the controversially named Mosque — into the Altria Theater, named after the parent company of Philip Morris USA. So to recap on the politically correct scale: Reaping the rewards of cigarette money beats out Islamic insensitivity.
+2 Adding what it calls a "mature and masterful" new star to its collection, the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts announces its acquisition of the 1930 oil painting "Franconia Notch" by Marsden Hartley. As far as art budgets go, we finally got our Farrah Fawcett poster framed.
-1 A Greater Richmond Chamber-sponsored billboard with the slogan, "Get Off in Richmond," comes down after two days over concerns that its double-entendre might be too risqué. Disgruntled copywriters scrap plans for the follow-up campaign, "Richmond: Some Attractive Hookers, If You Know Where to Look."
+5 Local prosecutors and Virginia Commonwealth University police announce the arrest of three men in a massive marijuana bust seven years in the making, hauling in 267 pounds of high-quality pot worth more than $1 million, along with more than $600,000. And lots and lots of Fritos.
-7 More soul-crushing, record-setting heat hits Richmond on the tail end of storms and power outages. The next person in line at Starbucks who asks if it's hot enough for me is getting an arabica bean shoved up their steam valve.
0 President Obama's team announces that he's making a two-day visit to Virginia this week, while reports estimate the millions of dollars in ad spending from both campaigns hitting us as a swing state. Who are these people who can't make up their minds?
+2 Fans rally to show support for Lamb of God lead singer Randy Blythe, jailed in the Czech Republic after being arrested on suspicion of manslaughter for an alleged incident at a concert two years ago. Now we just need Gwar's alien super strength to bend some iron bars.
+6 Chesterfield County native Kellie Wells takes off for London, heading to compete in the 100-meter women's hurdles at the Summer Olympics. See? It isn't so difficult for South Siders to cross the river.
-6 The Fizzler: Like the city mayoral election, this comet never quite takes off. A sidewalk spinner that provides low-key fun close to the ground. Safe, unremarkable: Perfect for families with school-age children who have fled for the suburbs.
-4 Short Pump Discharge: With simulated, tornadolike action, this rocket is strong enough to knock the most comfortable suburbanite off his game. Blasts away hot water and good spirits. Creates a whining sound. Available only at national chains.
+3 Flying Fish Spectacular: For use only over the Huguenot Bridge. Leaves no sentiment or regret behind as it starts out wobbly and finishes strong, sending a smooth crossing over the river and into the night. Sparkles. Caution: May leave potholes.
+6 Flaming Boomerang: Created in honor of University of Virginia President Teresa Sullivan, this rocket takes off, crashes, then sets flight again. Streaks through the sky with orange and blue trails. Effective at shaking up silent vigils.
-5 The Gates of Helen: Inspired by University of Virginia Rector Helen Dragas, this ticking time bomb is silent but deadly. Simmers quietly before setting off a series of unnecessary explosions. Now available with scented feature as the Stink Spectacular.
+4 That's a wrap, with Richmond schools holding their last day of class. Don't worry, that popping you hear isn't gunfire — it's teachers opening champagne bottles.
+2 Meanwhile, students celebrate their release into summer. Up first, a party at the moon tower, where the kegs will flow and they'll finally lose their virginity to that cute upperclassman. While we just play video games and sob over the lack of signatures in our yearbook.
+5 After the House of Delegates controversially rejects his judgeship, openly gay Chief Deputy Commonwealth's Attorney Tracy Thorne-Begland is appointed by the Richmond Circuit Court as a general district court judge. Confirming Republicans' worst fears, Thorne-Begland says he'll bring a radical-activist perspective to judging Richmonders' traffic tickets.
-3 The T-D reports on the death of a 250-pound black bear that's struck by two cars after running into Interstate 64. We're not sure who to blame here, but we'll just assume U.Va.'s Board of Visitors is somehow at fault.
0 Local politico Paul Goldman and Delegate Joe Morrissey announce that they're going into business together, starting up the Morrissey and Goldman law firm. Their first client: the grieving family of that 250-pound bear.
+6 The Washington Redskins say they're moving their three-week summer training camp to Richmond for eight years, starting in 2013. Officials cite the lure of our river, restaurants, and the convenience of the federal courthouse right downtown.
-4 To secure the Redskins, Gov. Bob McDonnell announces a $4 million state grant, while Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones says the city will pony up $400,000. To put that in perspective, that's a dollar for every point the Skins gave up last season.
+3 Chemistry.com ranks Richmond as the No. 1 city in the country where lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender singles hope to get married and have children. Delegate Bob Marshall proposes an emergency relocation of the State Capitol.
+5 Hundreds of volunteers show up on a Saturday for the 13th annual James River Regional Cleanup. Unfortunately, there aren't enough scented candles in stock to launch the new anti-stinky-river-smell initiative.
+2 Richmond schools prepare for their final week of classes before sending children home for the summer. This is the point at which desperate Spanish teachers decide "The Three Amigos" qualifies as cultural education.
+5 A crowd of more than 5,300 people heads to the 80th Strawberry Hill Races and Colonial Downs' season opener, dropping nearly $142,000 in bets in the races of the day. We gambled on stain-free sundresses. And lost.
+2 After lots of storm warnings, Richmond-area residents batten down the hatches for a big hit, but manage to avoid any tornadoes. Due to recent events in Florida and Canada, however, our Zombie Alert remains at Threat Level: Elevated.
-4 After police begin enforcing parking laws anew, the owner of the Camel is arrested on charges of obstructing justice after trying to buy time for patrons to move cars and avoid tickets in front of his Broad Street music venue. This is why we're not Austin.
+3 Team Bamboo from the Richmond Volleyball Club wins fifth place in the USA Volleyball National Championships. Making bigger sports headlines: Your third cousin just sprained her wrist trying to perfect her pingpong topspin.
+7 One food festival isn't enough over this weekend, with eaters drawn to Broad Appétit downtown, Flavor out at Innsbrook, the Greek Food Festival in the West End, and the Stone Soul Music and Food Festival on Brown's Island. It's a compass of gluttony, with the needle pointed due south.
-2 BlackFinn Restaurant and Saloon announces its Richmond closure pending a sale. The news rattles the local nightlife industry, with several bar historians likening its impact to the Great Skank Rebellion of '89 and the Blue Motorcycle Uprising of '93.
+4 The property of the State Fair of Virginia is sold to a Tennessee fair producer for $5.35 million, with the new owner promising to resurrect the financially struggling fair in the fall. The good news: some really good fried stuff. The bad news: tickets will be $500.
-1 Richmond police say they're seeking a man who burglarized a Broad Street ABC store, making off with seven bottles of liquor. Now we're starting to doubt the legitimacy of our Seagram's transaction under the bridge the other night.
+2 Sent to prison for a fraudulent scheme involving historic tax credits, developer Justin French must see more than 60 pieces of jewelry, art and furniture auctioned off by the U.S. Marshals. Buyer beware: That Rolex comes scented with Eau de Douchebag.
+7 Locals turn up the barbecuing, pull on the bathing suits and kick back for the long Memorial Day weekend. There's no surer sign of a good-time Richmond summer than empty PBR cans floating down the James River.
+5 Warren Buffett's company buys nearly all of the newspapers owned by Media General, including the Richmond Times-Dispatch. What's black, white and platinum-covered with encrusted diamonds all over?
+6 The popular Dominion Riverrock festival features outdoor races, skateboarding tricks, live music and dog-jumping contests. The hugely successful event draws some 65,000 visitors of all types, proving that when cute lil' doggies are involved, even hipsters are somewhat tolerable.
+1 Barksdale and Theatre IV announce a merger to become the Virginia Repertory Theatre, though they'd like to be known as Virginia Rep. We prefer Yo! Virginia Reps.
-9 With its leaders decrying his "homosexual activist" history, state legislators foil the judgeship of Richmond Deputy Commonwealth's Attorney Tracy Thorne-Begland. The Virginia GOP releases a statement, explaining: "We just think those people should stick to things they're good at judging, like fashion, reality TV and each other."
-7 Meanwhile, auctions are scheduled this week to sell off the State Fair of Virginia's property in Caroline County and the 250-acre SportsQuest complex in Chesterfield. Sources say one bidder plans to swoop in to combine the two facilities, creating the world's first artificial-turf, pig-racing track: PorkQuest.
+6 In graduation news, thousands of degrees are conferred over the weekend to students at Virginia Commonwealth, Virginia Union and Virginia State universities. And now for the bad news: At least 5 percent of college graduates end up on reality TV.
-6 Using data on America's health, Newsweek's Daily Beast ranks Richmond as the second-fattest city in the country, right after Memphis, Tenn., with about 30 percent of the population cited as obese. Shoot, the only reason Memphis beat us is because Elvis is still buried there.
0 A Mitt Romney campaign source tells Politico that the candidate's safest choice for a vice-presidential running mate will be an "incredibly boring white guy." Something tells us there's a giddy governor throwing back some really stiff 1-percent milk right about now!
-5 Delegate Bob Marshall speaks against the nomination of Richmond Deputy Commonwealth's Attorney Tracy Thorne-Begland to a general district court judgeship, citing his history as an "aggressive activist for the pro-homosexual agenda." C'mon Bob, doesn't everyone wearing those robes feel a little bit gay?
+8 Richmond gears up to honor veterans with the Welcome Home Our Heroes Parade, along the Boulevard to Dogwood Dell starting Saturday at 10 a.m. And if we can't draw more people than showed up to Elliott Yamin's "American Idol" parade, we're all going to hell.