+5 Richmonders ring in 2013 with alcohol-fueled revelry at bars across town. For us, this is also known as Monday.
+1 A five-year-old New Year's Day tradition continues at Pony Pasture, where Richmond.com reports on people who gather at 11 a.m. for a freezing dip into the James River. Despite the growth in crowd size there's always a shrinkage in participants.
+2 Proposed legislation rolls in for the next General Assembly session, with one bill requiring retail establishments to allow restroom use if a customer has a medical condition "that requires immediate access to a toilet facility." We'd hate to be the 7-Eleven clerk having to ask for proof.
0 In other legislation, Delegate Joe Morrissey proposes a 5-cent tax on certain plastic bags used by customers to carry goods out of grocery, convenience and drug stores. And if you're actually buying a package of plastic bags, there's some kind of rift in the time-space continuum, and we all get sucked into a black plastic hole.
+3 The creator of seven principles meets the city of seven hills, when Kwanzaa's inventor, Maulana Karenga, comes to town to help celebrate the seven-day holiday. Add in a day for Christmas and eight nights of Hanukkah, and it all comes out to way too many Red Lobster gift cards.
+10 The 21st of December comes and goes with no apocalypse in sight. Expect a lot of 2013 Mayan calendars on eBay.
-2 There is, however, an end of the world for about 25,000 turkeys, with the Daily News-Record reporting on a poultry house fire in Rockingham County. If only the flames could have been extinguished with a big dousing of gravy.
+4 Despite a tough economic year, companies across the city squeeze out enough cash for holiday office parties. Except at Bill's Barbecue, where vodka finally makes its way into the limeades.
-5 The T-D confirms that one of the University of Richmond's most visible and generous alumni, Bobby Ukrop, has resigned from the board of trustees over the decision to replace men's soccer and track with lacrosse. He will be replaced by Martin's.
+6 Glowing houses strung with abandon take center stage during the peak weekend for tacky light displays. This coincides with the peak season for tacky sweater displays, which explains our sudden overwhelming urge to attend a flea market.
+10 Saying enough is enough, U.S. Sen. Mark Warner, who has carried an A rating from the National Rifle Association, calls for lawmakers to pass what he calls "rational gun control" following the horrific school shooting in Newtown, Conn.
+3 Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli agrees with environmental groups that the current renewable energy law sucks and needs revision. This alone was enough to curb global warming, since the center of the earth suddenly froze over.
+2 Seafood lovers rejoice as Rappahannock Restaurant, from the guys who brought you Rappahannock River Oysters, opens downtown on East Grace Street. Other people heard rejoicing: creepy dudes who wear too much cologne and think oysters will help get them laid.
+1 Washington Redskins roll without their star quarterback, RGIII. Anything that increases the value of our summer preseason, we'll take.
-8 Catholic Bishop Walter Sullivan dies at 84. Richmond loses a moral conscience and spiritual leader who served here for 38 years.
-5 A Henrico sheriff's deputy is stopped and charged with drunken driving as well as intent to distribute cocaine. Also, McGruff the Crime Dog was last seen hastily packing up his meth lab and hitting the road in a RV.
+2 Gov. Bob McDonnell passes on adding $150 million to his budget to help build a new sports arena in Virginia Beach to accommodate an unidentified NBA team. A "Real Housewives of the Flying Squirrels" reality television pitch was also shot down.
-2 City officials tell a Richmond woman she needs to pay more than $15,000 for an outstanding utility bill. Responded the Idaho family with the massive tacky light house show synced to dub step: "What's the story here?"
+3 Richmond Symphony gets a grant for $500,000 from the Cabell Foundation. The only catch: they have to raise $500,000 first. In a bid to reach hipsters, the symphony will be offering its next release on splatter vinyl.
+3 Seibert's Towing announces its Toasted Tow program to transport drunks and their cars home during the holidays for a $50 fee. But they can't tow away the shame and embarrassment of blacking out during the office Christmas party and making a pass at the boss' husband.
-3 Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling ends his campaign for governor, expressing disappointment in the Virginia GOP and refusing to endorse fellow Republican candidate, Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli. Bro just ain't got a smooch for the Cooch.
+5 Thousands of holiday lights are turned on in downtown Richmond, drawing hordes of holiday revelers to the Grand Illumination. Many of them follow the holiday cheer into Shockoe Bottom for the Grand Intoxication.
+7 Floats, bands, balloons and bystanders turn out to Broad Street for the 29th annual Dominion Christmas Parade. No reindeer, either living or inflated, were harmed this year.
+3 NBC-12 reports on the fire department rescue of a construction worker who falls about 20 feet while working on an elevator shaft in Short Pump. He broke his leg going down, but otherwise says things are looking up.
-4 VCU women's volleyball coach James Finley says he was fired from his job at the university because he is openly gay. Apparently a sport involving lots of spandex and knee-high socks is just no place for a gay man.