+1 Building owners of the popular neighborhood bar Philip’s Continental Lounge tell the T-D that local restaurateur Johnny Giavos will take over the place. Foodies zero in on the pressing issue: Does hummus pair well with vodka limeade?-6 In what’s becoming a monthly tradition, City Auditor Umesh Dalal releases a report about waste at City Hall — this time saying Richmond must pay back $671,000 to the state after financial flubs in the foster-care system. Mayor, perhaps your dream of becoming a tier-one city should first include conquering fifth-grade math. +5 The cross-dressing bank robber in Chesterfield is arrested after making more attempts to take money using a dress, wig and purse as part of his disguise. Note for next time: Wax your knuckles before passing your note to the teller. -2 NBC-12 reports that some residents of Shockoe Bottom are petitioning the courts about late-night weekend noise at a nearby nightclub. Might we suggest moving closer to Councilman Charles Samuels? There’s a special No-Hootin’-No-Hollerin’ Zone within a 50-foot radius of his presence. +8 Richmonders return from Memorial Day weekend dazed, sweaty and a little tipsy on grilled meats. Same way we feel when we get back from Tijuana, minus the syphilis.
+6 And the heathens descended en masse upon a previously appointed place in the woods, indulging their most worldly desires in a rite of decadence, debauchery and sloth. What followed was the most wretched of Strawberry Hill hangovers.
0 At a ceremony for graduates of Virginia Commonwealth University, Gov. Bob McDonnell is given an honorary doctorate. The faithful plead for him to use the advanced degree to expand upon his thesis from Regent University, protecting us all from fornicators.
-4 The rapture occurs not. And in the days that followed, there was much gnashing of teeth, finger-pointing, obfuscating, weeping and disillusionment. And so begins another Richmond City Council meeting.
+3 City fathers and their partners of means announce the launch of a riverside fireworks celebration — to be held on the third day of the seventh month. The date is chosen after specialists in ancient mathematics disclose an error in their previous calculations to determine the true Independence Day.
+2 Scores of disheartened believers turn to Gene Cox, who emerges as a new prophet with his book, "Six Pigs in a Tub," a bold prediction that poor grammar will signal the end of the world. Welcome to the Apostrophe Apocalypse.
+5 Despite the rain, spirits don't seem dampened at Dominion Riverrock, which draws enthusiastic crowds to the outdoor sports festival on and around Brown's Island. In fact, new competitions emerge, such as the mudslide relay to the Porta-John.
+1 The T-D reports on identical twins Alissa and Ariel Barlow, who are graduating as co-valedictorians from Armstrong High School with an identical GPA of 4.47619. That's pi, right? We co-failed geometry with our identical twin after spending too many nights co-partying.
+4 College graduation parties continue across the region. And parents continue to participate in a ritual that's increasingly known as turn-the-home-gym-back-into-a-bedroom day.
-4 After luring thousands of people to the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, the expansive Picasso exhibit ends its run in Richmond. Now we can all go back to staring at those mall posters until we see a sailboat.
+3 The Times-Dispatch names Daniel P. Finnegan as its new editor. He pledges to raise journalism standards to those of the Gray Lady — not a reference to the New York Times, but rather the paper's remaining subscriber.
-1 A flash mob descended upon the Strawberry Street festival over the weekend. Richmond, 2003 called and would like to welcome you back.
+2 The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts is keeping the Picasso exhibit open till midnight on its last two nights before the show leaves town. We encourage you to treat the midnight showing as you would a screening of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" — dress as his blue or rose period and yell at the art. If you get the midnight munchies, we hear that the Fabergé eggs are delicious.
0 All aboard! The Chamber boys, led by T-D Publisher Tom Silvestri, finally secure a victory in high-speed rail playoffs, snagging a chunk of Florida's $2.4 billion give back. Four million dollars! Way to go, TAS! All we need is another $796 million or so.
+4 Shaka Smart's singing at Wrigley Field, J-Rod's at the White House for Cinco de Mayo (although he is Puerto Rican) and Justin Verlander (he's a Goochlander) tosses his second no-hitter for the Tigers. See, Richmond really is a sports town once you leave.
+3 Steven Spielberg picks Richmond to film his Lincoln movie, thanks to all the "period architecture" and, of course, some state tax incentives. Oh, and in some parts of town, he doesn't have to spend any money on costumes or sets.
+10 The good news: Osama Bin Laden is dead. The bad news: Oprah must rebook the surprise guest on her final show, and we're guessing Plan B is John Travolta.
+10 Richmonders realize that they'll always remember where they were when they heard the big news. For many, it was on their sofas, watching "The Apprentice," hosted by a billionaire who doesn't believe President Obama was born here. Go Team America!
0 In the wake of the earth-shattering news, the Richmond Times-Dispatch gets to work on headlines. Abandoned at the last minute: "Obama Hogs Airtime for Political Theater: Rides Coattails of Bush's War on Terror."
-1 Politicians across Virginia scurry to send out news releases with their official statements on Bin Laden's death. Apparently George Allen piloted the helicopter, Jamie Radtke parachuted into the compound and Eric Cantor personally high-fived all the SEALs.
0 The question looms: What's next for national security? For us, it's a lavender-scented bubble bath by candlelight while we enjoy the afterglow of our pat downs at Richmond International Airport.