Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.

Posted on Wed, Apr 27, 2011 at 7:50 AM

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The Weekend Easter collided with Earth Day

+6 The Easter Bunny is determined to be a great source of natural fertilizer.

+9 Resurrection totally beats recycling.

-2 The traditional Easter on Parade along Monument Avenue features a kids' petting zoo, though there are some awkward moments when confused children start trying to feed hippies.

-1 At the Richmond Earth Day Festival, volunteers hand out vegetarian Easter eggs. Which are actually just gourds painted pink.

+5 After seeing yet another Save the Planet sticker, God finally gives in. Well, until, you know, the day he's set aside for the Apocalypse.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

the score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.

Posted on Tue, Apr 19, 2011 at 1:24 PM

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+7 In a rally celebrating the strong showings of the Rams and Spiders during the NCAA Tournament, the mayor gives "Pride of Richmond" awards to the men's basketball coaches and teams. The coaches vow to display the plaques in their mansions once construction is complete.

+1 In other mayoral news, Dwight Jones appoints Lee Downey as director of economic development — 20 months after the position became vacant. Hey, you can't just rush these things.

-2 The T-D reports on the arrests of two people connected with a Mechanicsville Turnpike convenience store on charges they allegedly violated a new state law banning the distribution of fake pot. They were tipped off by users who got the fake munchies.

+6 Despite the bad weather, an estimated 10,000 people turn out to the Richmond Raceway Complex for 102.1 the X's Chili Cook-Off. Yep, when it comes to beer-drinking and gas fumes, this event rivals NASCAR itself.

-8 Richmonders scramble to finish their tax returns by the April 18 deadline. The trip to the post office came with a drive past panhandlers and foreclosed homes on a gas tank filled halfway with a maxed-out credit card. But why worry? "Dancing with the Stars" would welcome them home, and maybe Kirstie Alley would fall again.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

the score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.

Posted on Tue, Apr 12, 2011 at 1:06 PM

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Special Edition: Rams Recovery

-3 March Madness gives way to ennui, then slight chills and clammy hands. Basketball exhaustion is the new spring fever, accompanied by hangovers, pollen and trading favorite riot stories. Pass the antihistamines.

+2 Coach Shaka Smart takes a nap. He dreams about being a millionaire. He awakes a gazillionaire.

-5 City employees are arrested on charges that they gamed the system to get almost $13,000 in overtime pay. But when it is revealed that they spent the money on official Final Four T-shirts, they are exonerated by Joey Rodriguez.

+3 What? Did someone say Joey Rodriguez? That's right, the Virginia Hispanic Chamber of Commerce announces that he's going to receive the group's Impacto Latino Award. We failed Spanish, but we think this means "Latin Impact" or "Sexy Baller."

+6 The celebration's over, and we turn to the next season. Rodney the Ram emerges from the private fetish-themed nightclub Fallout in Shockoe Bottom, grinning from horn to horn.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

the score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.

Posted on Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 7:25 PM

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+10 The VCU Rams become the first Richmond team to head to the NCAA Final Four. There's so much pride even those geeks in the engineering building feel cool.

+7 After VCU's astonishing win against Kansas, the streets around the university fill up with boisterous students, creating traffic diversions and bringing out the police. Like, well, any other day.

-2 During the rowdy post-game celebration, a handful of renegade VCU fans climb atop a Channel 8 News truck. Come on guys, that's the one station that can't afford new stuff.

+8 Amid all the hoopla, ESPN reports that University of Richmond coach Chris Mooney is signing a 10-year contract extension with the Spiders. In related news, university President Ed Ayers has taken out a second mortgage on his home and turned the student commons into a casino.

+1 Dominion announces that it will open and close select window blinds on the Canal Street side of its office building to spell out "VCU — Go Rams" in lights. And in another display of support, if you peer into the 27th floor on the east side of City Hall at 3:15 a.m. on Thursday, the janitor's gonna do a shadow-puppet show.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the score

A weekly rating of the city zeitgeist.Special NCAA Psychic Edition

Posted on Tue, Mar 22, 2011 at 5:52 PM

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+7

Upon their return from an incredible NCAA championship showing, the basketball teams from the University of Richmond and Virginia Commonwealth University will be welcomed home with ticker-tape parades, throngs of adoring female fans and stacks of Chinese food menus littering their front porches.

+2

Next year MTV will announce the retooling of a popular documentary series following spoiled teenagers getting their obnoxious birthday parties crashed by drunk college students at UR and VCU. It's called "My Super Sweet 16: This Is How It's Done."

+4

By the year 2015, the embryos of wealthy couples will be genetically engineered to be not just smart, but Shaka Smart.

+7

After decades of debate, in 2057 Richmond drops its title as Capital of the Confederacy in favor of the Capital of College Hoops, forcing Confederate re-enactors to find new work portraying historical figures Joey Rodriguez, Chris Mooney, Dan Geriot and Jamie Skeen.

+1

Exactly 150 years after VCU and UR battle each other in the Elite 8, the city will commemorate the year 2161 as the sesquicentennial of Richmond's second Civil War.

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