0 A restaurant smoking ban goes into effect to the delight of nonsmokers. Nicotine-starved chefs find a way around the ban, however, with FDA-approved entrees: Marlboro manicotti, blackened beef lung and eggplant emphysema.
+1 Buying out the contract of University of Virginia football coach Al Groh: $4.3 million. Number of wins in Groh's final season: 3. The sudden Hokie fan epiphany that despite Frank Beamer's best efforts, U.Va. is still a superior college: Priceless.
-3 After reports that they allegedly breached security and crashed Obama's first state dinner at the White House, NoVa socialites Michaele and Tareq Salahi hired a publicist and are pitching a new reality TV show. Working title: “The Real Housewives of Federal Prison.”
-3 Fresh off the news that Harris Teeter will not purchase Ukrop's, the Richmond grocery chain posts a $1.45 million third quarter loss. Much of this is attributable to a write-down resulting from Bobby Ukrop's failed backing of research into a snow-generating weather control device.
+2 The Richmond Flying Squirrels baseball team open up a retail store at the Diamond in anticipation of their debut minor league season. Initial big sellers include an official Flying Squirrels Nut Sack and a genuine Brunswick stew starter kit (refrigerate after opening and please don't ask questions).